As I enter the taper, or The Almighty Goddamn Taper as my brain terms it, I've started thinking more specifically about my race plan. So far, it goes something like this:
Wheeee!!!! We are running! Per Lord of the Rings at the beginning of the Seven's journey upon leaving the Council of Elrond, WE ARE SETTING OFF ON A GREAT JOURNEY.
There will be a hill starting around mile 8. I will force myself to choke down a BonkBreaker bar (I hate gels and cannot stomach them). I will have been running for an hour already but still have a very long way to go. Literally, no end in sight. I HAVE SUFFERED GREATLY.
|The blazing sun, oh lordy.|
The half-marathoners will split off to their finish and look like they are about to collapse. On the other hand, *I*, assuming all is going well, will still have pretty fresh legs. I will also accelerate slightly. Or a lot, if my sassiness gets the better of me.
|LOOK AT MY FLUFFY TAIL!!!!|
I have gone so far, and yet still have so far to go. Nothing interesting is happening. I am questioning (again) why I am doing this. I no longer care about goals.
|While I love A Knight's Tale, I don't understand how any of the characters survived.|
I get suddenly and irrationally angry. At the spectators, at the people running around me, at myself, at the sky, at a piece of trash on the ground, on the camber of the road, on the slope of the road, at the color of someone's shorts.
|As long as the legs move at the prescribed pace, I might close my eyes a while.|
Sadness. Much sadness.
|I reserve the right to have a tantrum at liberty.|
Rally. Come on, rally. For GOD AND COUNTRY!!!
|Hopefully the salt on my face doesn't cause war paint this severe.|
|Like a ninja badass wind.|
I stagger around.
|Yes, I AM an athlete. That's why I'm walking funny.|
|I shall eat much pasta.|
This plan is the ideal scenario. I'm hoping the weather is good, my legs are fast, and my breath is steady. Also, I want to run the first 13.1 with the 3:35:00 pace group at 8:12 per mile, then the second 13.1 at 7:58 per mile. Or the whole race with the 3:35:00 pace group. Or PR off my time from last year (3:49:36). Or finish I guess. We'll see.